a year of firsts

I am starting my new year off with a bang by having a huge first: a trip to Hawaii.  My husband and I have been blessed with an opportunity to go to Honolulu in conjunction with work that he has to do there.

YAY!!!! Right?  At this point in time, I am in the throes of organizing my household in preparation with being gone.  Oh, yes, the children are staying home.  Did I mention this is the first trip I've taken with Aaron for more than one night away from the kids?  That's six and almost-a-half years since we've ventured out on our own {together}.  

I've also never been on a plane for more than four hours.  In fact, as recently as one year ago I would have stated that I would never get on a plane again in my life.  {I know, pretty ridiculous, but that's how extreme my fear was.}  Thanks to a dedicated and incredible therapist, my stomach is not COMPLETELY twisted in knots at the prospect of about 13 hours on an airplane.

I realized that it's been a long time since I've gone to a completely new geographic region- at least more than an hour from my home location.  I wonder a little bit about venturing so far from home, because I AM a homebody.

Not to mention that I'm still nursing my two-and-a-half year old.  He is down for a nap right now, although not yet asleep, after one of the most precious nursing sessions I have ever had.  I held him, covered with "gwin-gwin" {blanky} and "monkey-boy" {named after his sister's prize lovey} held in one hand while he ran his fingers through my hair and smiled every once in a while.  I sang to him, something that passed away long ago while he was still a wee one.  Hymns are my favorite; Jesus Loves Me, How Great Thou Art, Abide with Me, Beautiful Savior, Amazing Grace... amazed that the words come back to me after all these years from grade school memory work at my Lutheran school.  As it was happening, I felt like Mary, storing up the sights and sounds in my heart, treasuring the special time that I've had with my beloved children.  Will these be the last times?  Will it end, possibly for the last time in my life?

Despite all this, God has placed it in my heart that I need to go on this trip.  I need to renew my body, mind, and spirit and re-connect with my precious husband.  Although I have some anxiety that is natural to this situation, I have been surprisingly {for me!} at peace about the whole thing.  God answers prayers!  The most amazing answers in my life have often been ones that may not be visible to the human eye, but that have made changes to my heart and my soul.  I am so thankful.

Today or tomorrow I will also be putting up some resources that I've made for the caregivers of the children whose parents are going away for a bit.  They are pretty comprehensive.  {Maybe a little too much.  It just might be possible that I'm going overboard with some control issues. :) }  Stay tuned!