Two years ago, right after moving into our current home, I went into a baking streak like none I had ever experienced before. Home made bread, once-a-month cooking, cookies, pies, cakes... I usually say that I like to cook a lot more than I like to bake, but that year I found I really could get into baking.
Now, I've written before about my troubles with "the holidays". This year I am trying to be as proactive as I can to make new positive memories and associations. I have such warm, positive feelings associated with that season of baking that I'm going to try it again.
It all started with a magazine I spotted while in line at Joann fabrics. I usually fought the whole Christmas cookie mania, especially after a stomach flu bout after a sugar cookie extravaganza two years before. But this magazine was so lovely to me that I bought it on impulse.

It was a Better Homes and Gardens special edition. I came home and pored over it, flagging each recipe that I had to try. I decided then and there that I would make a different cookie every day.
This wasn't so much about having so many cookies to eat. I made it my prayer that God would provide me with people to share my treats with, make it clear to me how to use them to help someone else. I thought of our family the year that Isaac was hospitalized for six days before Christmas, and when we came home on Christmas Eve we were sent home with a bag of presents for our kids {a life saver, since we had put off all Christmas gift shopping and had nothing for them}. I wanted to do something like that for someone else.
Well, the days wore on. I ended up making treats almost every day. But as I made and froze them, a lot were eaten along the way. The kids- then ages four and two- were often by my side "helping". One Sunday my aunt came over and we spent the day after church baking as much as we could. There were frustrations- kid helpers making a mess, sink overflowing with dishes, days where my feet and legs were sore from standing so much. And I felt like God hadn't shown me what to do with these cookies and bars to serve Him.
By the time Christmas came, I had given away none of the goods from my efforts. I felt like a failure. We got out all the frozen cookies and ate them over the course of a few days. And it didn't hit me until my husband, Aaron, said something. He thanked me {and he had been thanking me all along} that I had put so much into making those cookies. He knew that it was difficult for me to celebrate Christmas and how much I had resisted having anything to do with Christmas cookies for so long. He was so appreciative and grateful. Maybe the family that needed those cookies all along was my own.
Maybe it's a cop out for not giving the cookies away. But I think, more and more, that the time spent in the kitchen baking, giving a little to my family in a way that made us better, working in the warmth with my loved ones, watching their excitement, spending time together... was how God used those cookies to serve others.
So that's the story. I didn't make anything last year. But this year- yesterday- I pulled out that magazine and got together a list of things I needed to make six different treats this week. And I think it will make a difference.
Here are the two BEST {they are all delicious} recipes in my mind.

